The first week of June our daughter's kinder class put on a spring concert/graduation. I felt horrible because we had the boys there, they would not sit still (that's normal), and Grace refused to sing in front of people. She told us later that she had a sore throat, that kids were too close to her and finally that she was afraid of people hearing her sing. AND to top off the whole horrible ordeal my ex bf and his baby momma were there because our daughters are in the same class. Now that's a long story, but just to sum it up we were never married, but we dated for 6 years, and I thought marriage was eventual. Our break up was mutual and was due to conflicting opinions on religion etc. I bear him no ill will, however, seeing him is still painful and embarrassing. I keep praying that my weight loss will disguise me and he will walk by and never know it's me. Unrealistic right?
June 7/8 were the Monroe Relay for Life. It was my first year participating with them and my 3rd Relay year. The size was amazing and the event was great overall. I was very pleased with the turnout. However, that ended when my husband quickly handed me my small purse and told me we were out of there because we were being targeted by a purse thief. I didn't notify anyone as we were on our way out and my husband was the one who witnessed the suspicious activity. Well, I wanted to be at a larger event. I guess it's back to Flat Rock next year or that ends Relay for me.
Father's day is another reason I was in a slump this month. It's a constant reminder to me that I am fatherless. I have many father figures, my grandfather (he's been the best father figure ever, props to him), my sister's father who acted as my father for 11 years until his divorce from my mother separated us, and my father in law who raised my amazing husband. But despite all of them I long for my birth father. He is alive. I know where he is. But I cannot make contact with him. The details of that long and sad story should remain locked in my head until I die, but I suppose one day I'll grow weak and seek him out just to put to rest all hopes that I have that he wanted me, that he was really a good person despite his fall from grace blah blah blah. Regardless, it puts me into a deep depression every year.
The final straw that broke the camel's back this month was my recent dentist trip to have my second wisdom tooth worked on. That appointment had me on edge anyway since my daughter was in the opposite chair having a small cavity taken care of. BUT this was my second visit for my wisdom teeth so I was calm about my own procedure. That was my first mistake. The same dentist/hygienist who took care of her also took care of me and her treatment of my daughter was fine, but she didn't numb me up as well as I needed, and our session was a nightmare. When she went in I honest to God felt pain and since my hands were on my chest I flung them wide. She panicked because she though I was trying to grab her which led to her reacting aggressively with me. Needless to say, I had to lay there while she berated me and told me how I should have acted, what she says I actually felt, which in her opinion was nothing and that I overreacted. Meanwhile, she's going to town on my tooth and it's hurting like heck and my eyes are pooling tears. After she was done she proceeded to tell me how to speak to my daughter about our next visit and that I should perhaps plan better so that I'm not in the chair after my kid so that I'm not already stressed out to prevent further incidents like the one I just had! I've never in my life been so embarrassed and humiliated. I'm looking for a new dentist now.
My month hasn't been all negative.
Grace graduated from kinder and her final grades from the state show she's doing extremely well in math. Far above state levels. Her reading level is what they call "middle of first grade" but she seems to be following her father's path, not mine, so that's to be expected. I went language and Bill did exceedingly well in math etc. I'm looking forward greatly to see where she goes in life. I encourage her to do anything she wants but I stress the importance of finishing school and getting a college degree.
We recently acquired a new pet, a redfoot tortoise named Toothless. It's still a baby and we won't know the gender for years but for the most part, I'm thinking it's male. It certainly acts brave, while I hear females are more shy and reserved. But time will tell. Here is a pic of my baby
I will finish things up by saying that though I haven't made huge goals on my FitBit I have maintained my weight despite water weight fluctuations. I have been walking on my treadmill or outside with the kids. Our wagon shows heavy wear on the tires despite the fact that it's only a year old (LOL that is an accomplishment I think). I recently went on a walk with my sister and her friend at the local state park. It was lovely. I was very afraid that the kids would slow us down so I did my best despite their stops to keep the pace. Even after all our stops we still did a 3 mile or more trail in 57 mins. Not bad. I went home and did another hour on the treadmill. Today I'm sore so I'll be finishing up a book and hopefully starting The Fault in Our Stars. I hope for a good week this week as I should be receiving my yearly review. 10 days until my magazine comes out. Oh Lord, I pray I can show my face after this.
No comments:
Post a Comment