Trying to grab up the pieces

I'm at a difficult point in my journey. I'm trying to drop weight around Thanksgiving leftovers (the desires of everyone to keep those yummy treats around their desk and in the office),  a major work overload that has me stressed to my max limit, and the looming nightmare that is Christmas dinner or dinnerS as we are prepping for 3 days of entertaining, cooking rich foods and EATING those foods. I'm a wreck, and I'm emotionally eating right now. I confess to sneaking chocolates (in moderation) and eating the foods that my hubby makes even though I know they'll probably throw me thanks to the salt. I'm human and I'm failing. Sorry.

The last 2 weeks I've been trying, with little success, to get on the treadmill and make this weight loss happen. Today I'm at 170.2, just 1 lb shy of my 90 lb goal. I want to make it before Christmas, but it's looking like I may not make it. 11 lbs stand between me and my ultimate goal of losing 100 lbs. 6 of those lbs are "over weight" lbs. I need to drop 6 lbs before Feb 11th to pass my health exam with perfect scores on all the required info. I have come so far, but I feel like I've failed so miserably.

Now, there are plenty of people who will tell me that they'd like to be where I am right now. But I'm in a personal hell. I've lost so much weight, that my body looks weird to me. I have stuff hanging and I can pull it up and look smooth. I want to fix it, but I'm afraid that the Dr won't agree that it needs to be done. Which is ridiculous because I've lost so much and that kind of weight loss leaves marks. I hate what I look like, and the weight back on would fill me out. Like a deflated balloon that just needs blown up again to look all pretty and shiny. A stretched and worn out sad balloon. That's me. So I'm going to force myself to celebrate my accomplishment today. Today I'm going to relax and just take me time.

Current stats:


Current weight: 170.2
Goal weight: 159

Weight at which I'm no longer over weight: 164

Taken 12/19/2013 at 7am

11lbs to go!