1. Some days I log into Myfitnesspal.com just to log my workouts or weight loss. My diet varies so little that there is no real need to log Mondays through Fridays unless I change my diet up. After 9 months of faithful calorie counting I've learned the calories for most of what I eat and I don't need an app to tell me what I'm eating anymore. It's just reassuring when I'm cheating (eating a treat) and I want to stay on target. It also helps when I'm out and about and sharing a meal with someone who doesn't know my diet. I can adjust my eating for that day easily. I feel guilty about not logging everything, but I'm doing well and I don't see the need anymore. Once you learn good eating habits you don't need someone telling you at each meal right? Exactly.
2. I cheat. On my diet I mean. Yes, sometimes I sneak a bite of something my husband bakes. OR, I grab a slice of his homemade bread along with a bowl of something warm that he made to go with it. But I always consider the calories I'm taking in. I do not have cheat days where I eat what I want and ignore the calories. I've read blogs, diet sites etc that have said you need to treat yourself. Or the opposite:
My personal opinion here is this: You should NOT take a day off your diet by overeating. Overeating caused your weight gain. Those calories you take in do NOT magically poof off your body just by using the magic words "cheat day". If that worked, every day would be a cheat day and we'd all be skinny. Instead, have the foods you want, but evaluate the calories and reduce your portions and opt for healthy fillers like extra veggies so you don't over eat too much of the desired food. You get to give in to your craving but you don't overindulge and spoil your hard work for the week. Yes, one day of overeating can set you back a week. Been there, done that. Lesson learned.
3. Small weight loss counts, but it is disappointing. You've watched your diet all week, you've done your workouts and you've passed on a few treats that you really wanted and felt good about it knowing you're doing everything you can to succeed at losing weight. Only to weigh in and see only a few oz drop that week and it leaves you feeling cheated. You feel a huge let down and it depresses you. You expected a lb at least and you feel like what you're doing is all wrong. You're never going to drop the weight. You're doomed.
Yes, I feel that way sometimes. It happens to me too. There are some weeks where I ate something I shouldn't have and the weight sticks for a few more days. Tortilla chips are my downfall. But the good news is, if you keep at it, it will happen for you. I don't add my new weigh in on Myfitnesspal.com for oz unless it's over 4 or 6oz. A 2oz loss doesn't leave me feeling accomplished. So I keep at it and when I see a little bit more weight loss I add it all then and feel a bigger high when I see a 1lb or more of weight loss. Kinda like trading a small present for a bigger one. It just feels that good.
4. I have a hard time seeing my weight loss. Some people need to understand that I've been heavy for a long time. I'm 29 and I haven't been the weight I'm at in over 10 years. That means I've spent over a 3rd of my short life being over weight. I can't remember when I was healthy last. So when I look in the mirror or see an image of myself now, all I can see it chubby or fat me. This is not uncommon. Society is not understanding about this. Comments like, "You're skinny now", or "I get it, you're proud of yourself, but enough", don't help. Yes, I'm looking for affirmation. I'm not looking for comments because it boosts my ego. Those moments when someone tells me I'm looking so healthy or I'm looking great help me see what you see. Like I'm using your sight to see what I look like because when I look in the mirror my eyes are broken and I see the old me. I just don't see what you see.
5.
I see runners everywhere
and I want stalk them and ask them so many questions.
Ok, I wouldn't really stalk someone because they're running or have a 3K, 5K, 10K or half marathon or marathon bumper sticker, but when I see one, I want to ask them for help. I want to be able to run so badly. They say it comes in time through hard work. I have been out of shape so long that it feels like it will never happen. I've never been a runner, but the challenge of it makes me want to do it. I don't want to be a long term runner. I want to know that I can and do it kinda like a bucket list item I want to check off. It's a sadistic task I've set myself. For now my lungs burn and my legs feel like they're going to bend over and snap off my body. Nope. Nothing unusual about that.
6. I have NO plan for the future. I've learned to eat in a new way, and I'm just not sure that reverting to my old diet in any way is going to be doable. Realistically I know that my caloric need is at about 2,000 or so per day. So right now my deficit helps me lose weight. However, that deficit will have to end and I will need to learn how to eat all over again to maintain my weight loss and a good diet and exercise plan will have to be established. That terrifies me. As is, my diet leaves me full and I rarely have hungry moments where I gorge. To add calories means additional meals or snacks or higher calorie foods. Sometimes I wish I had someone to do this for me. Even I feel lost sometimes.
This weekend has started off with some major stress as I attempted to log into my online banking account to schedule the car payment for my husband's new car. This is my first car loan through a bank and it's been a hair pulling experience. 6 months of payments on time only to log into my account and find that it's frozen and I cannot make a payment. I'm terrified of losing that car so I called into the bank and found out that their system messed up. They wanted me to "authenticate" my banking account information and their system should have made 2 small deposits into my local bank account so I could then enter those deposit amounts into a pop up window on my car loan account to verify that my bank account information is correct and the account is active. Those deposits never happened and so they froze my account. Their bad. Regardless, the payment was taken by phone and disaster was averted. Now I just have to wait 2-3 business days, check my banking account for potential deposits and if not call back and go through this again before my December payment is due. My advice to a potential car buyer, don't use Chase bank LOL
I had a great weigh in today and I still can't believe it. Here's the pic:
176.4 which for some reason Myfitnesspal.com puts me at 83lbs lost (it's actually 82.6)
Current weight: 176.4
Goal weight: 159 (17.4lbs to go)
Weight at which I'm no longer over weight: 164 (12.4lbs to go)
I'm getting there and it's so unreal. <3
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