Saturday and Sunday were good days around here. We went out both days and I managed to eat within specs regardless. I got some new, much needed, clothing and a winter jacket. The temps have been in the high 40's to mid 50's at night and the day temps have been in the 60's. Winter is coming so I'm prepping. Monday was a bad day for me. I stayed home from work sick (not something I like to do) because I felt nauseous most of the day. I ate early, felt fine for about an hour and then I was sick again. I couldn't get rid of that feeling. Just turning my head was enough to make me feel ill. Tuesday was business as usual. I worked and got my workout in. I even made a new PR of 4 miles in 57 minutes. My old PR was 4 miles in 60 minutes. I'm not a runner, clearly, but I'm trying to get there.
Monday should have been motivational Monday so today I'll share one of my biggest motivators. My kids.
These little guys and gal, keep me busy. My oldest is 5 and she was born when I had reached my "steady weight" of 236lbs. I stayed there for each additional pregnancy and due to severe morning sickness I lost weight with each child, but it came back with some and a vengeance. My oldest was a winter baby and was not much inclined to touch grass her first summer at 3-4 months old. The following summer it was the same. She didn't like the way grass felt on her feet and didn't much care for outside play. The boys changed things. By the time my middle child could run and play outside I'd probably gone up to a steady 240lbs or so. I was not able to run. I was not able to play. I only wanted to sit and watch my kids play with my husband. That made me feel horrible. I felt guilty. I didn't want to be a lazy parent, always watching from the sidelines. I wanted to be the one running around with them. I had to stop this madness.
My decision to drop the weight was a culmination of things.
The embarrassment I felt trying to dress for my sister in law's wedding in the summer of 2012
The Relay for Life seminar, where a speaker who had dropped over 60lbs while in college kinda revealed my reasons why I couldn't drop weight as just excuses. She was an inspiration.
The looming summer where I'd have to take the kids out and possibly be invited to summer events and the heat would require more revealing clothing.
The summer 2013 Relay for Life event, where as a committee member I'd have to be more active.
The day I finally stepped on a scale out of curiosity. I had avoided them for so long. Why I did it? Perhaps it was God pushing me. But, when I did it stopped at 259lbs. Just 1lb shy of morbid obesity. I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I shared my weight with my husband and he calmly asked what he could do to help. He's been a huge supporter of my goals and I love him even more for it.
This Friday is my 8 month weigh-in. My last weigh-in put me at 189.6lbs. Just 6oz shy of a weight loss of 70lbs. I am NOT looking back. I am NOT going to go back to where I was. I WILL drop the full 100lbs so help me GOD! And speaking of God, He has helped me when I felt like I would just rather quit. And yes, Jesus carried me. There have been times where, during a workout, I felt horrible pain and I cried out. Somehow the pain lessened, and I made it my full 60mins. I know I'll make it, because I know who stands before me and who stands behind. The God of angel armies is always by my side <3
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