So it's been several weeks since I've written. I feel bad about that, but then I've never been good about keeping journal etc. It has always turned into a chore. But lately I've been so busy that I feel like I can justify not having the time to sit and write anything down.
Since my magazine release I've kinda been hiding. I wasn't kidding when I said I was afraid of the criticism of others. It's ridiculous I know, but I was, and still am. I've been recognized a few times and I'm ok with that. I've got nothing but good remarks and that really has made it easier. I've also noticed a few people who were once chatty with me have since clammed up. I guess everyone is entitled to their opinions and feelings. I'm not sure how to take it so I've been going about life as normal.
Work has been extremely busy. They have hired a new payroll person, and he seems to be working out better than expected, for which I am grateful. This coming week I should return to somewhat normal hours between accounting, and customer service. Everyone is taking that differently. Accounting has been taking all the hours out of me they can get, and they don't seem pleased to be relinquishing me. Honestly, I understand because I was kept busy during the last few months, and I don't their work load going down. I also don't see anyone being brought in to help.
Next month is my 10 year anniversary with my company. I know something is going on because our executive secretary ordered a large reproduction of my newspaper article. She told me they plan to hang it in the company lunchroom. Our company also gives a special gift to each employee to thank them, a wrist watch. I was so nervous when the human resources director told me she was planning to take me out to select mine, that I went out and did it without her to avoid the anxiety it would cause. I just hope they don't make a huge fuss, honest to goodness I can't handle that. There are so few employees on my shift that celebrate anniversary dates in August that I would be embarrassed by being singled out. Few weeks left until our August meeting...ugh.
Life as a mom of 3 hasn't gotten any easier. Our 6 year old daughter has turned into a 16 year old at least temperamentally. She's been slamming doors and rolling her eyes. I think my husband is the most annoyed. I grew up close to my younger sister so the behaviors of girls doesn't phase me. It irritates me, but I don't flip out over it, yet. He has 2 younger sisters but I don't think he dealt with as much attitude as I did LOL
I've had my nose stuck in a book, well, books actually, a lot lately. I've been reading like mad. My GoodReads book challenge certainly could use some help. I've read 39 books so far this year and I'm 17 behind schedule. I've made my challenge of reading 104 books 2 years in a row. I'm afraid this year I won't be as lucky.
Well, I'm off to do the worst household chore possible. Cleaning out my wardrobe. We recently rearranged our bedroom and I have the fun task of putting all my books and clothes away. Such is the life. Last week we donated 6 bags of laundry to charity. I wonder how many I'll have tonight? Le sigh. Until next time...
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Friday, July 4, 2014
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Nervousness sucks
Monday came too soon and Thursday will be here before I know it. Time refuses to stand still. I want more time to prepare for the release. I'm one of those people who likes to be prepared and I still haven't heard from Woman's World so I'm still in the dark. These horrible thoughts keep invading my head. What if this is all some terrible dream? What if I'm being punked? Why can't I be excited now? Just days away from something I was so thrilled about in May? What is wrong with me?
This past weekend was full of ups and downs. It seems like I'm under attack from Mother Nature. Spider bites and rashes galore. I have a drs appointment to hopefully get it under control. I've had no such luck on my own. Store bought hydra-cortisone works to relieve the itching but it doesn't prevent flair ups. Plus I have itchy scalp and I got a sun burn. Just a little one and now my scalp is on FIRE. Summer is the worst month for me LOL
Work is still hectic because: 1. they have yet to hire a payroll controller, 2. they still have me working odd hours, 3. they are in the process of tearing up and remodeling my work station. I'm working from another location and taking my work wherever I go. I guess I'm learning to juggle. LOL
My little girl has another loose tooth. This time on top! Oh my goodness I thought she lost those already. Nope, it was the bottom two she tells me. Guess the tooth fairy will be making an appearance soon. How has the time gone by so fast? She's 6. These kids need to slow down!
If nothing else I'll be trying my patience until Thursday. My nerves are shot but reading is getting me through it. I'm getting so close to finishing the final Mortal Instruments book. Part of me wants to just put it down and not finish it. Goodness knows I've done that with plenty of books, but I guess I'm just trekking through it so I can say I finished it. It's not a bad book, but it has gotten pretty boring. Too many expected turns and cliche moments. It's kinda like watching a bad soap opera.
Welp, COME ON THURSDAY!!
This past weekend was full of ups and downs. It seems like I'm under attack from Mother Nature. Spider bites and rashes galore. I have a drs appointment to hopefully get it under control. I've had no such luck on my own. Store bought hydra-cortisone works to relieve the itching but it doesn't prevent flair ups. Plus I have itchy scalp and I got a sun burn. Just a little one and now my scalp is on FIRE. Summer is the worst month for me LOL
Work is still hectic because: 1. they have yet to hire a payroll controller, 2. they still have me working odd hours, 3. they are in the process of tearing up and remodeling my work station. I'm working from another location and taking my work wherever I go. I guess I'm learning to juggle. LOL
My little girl has another loose tooth. This time on top! Oh my goodness I thought she lost those already. Nope, it was the bottom two she tells me. Guess the tooth fairy will be making an appearance soon. How has the time gone by so fast? She's 6. These kids need to slow down!
If nothing else I'll be trying my patience until Thursday. My nerves are shot but reading is getting me through it. I'm getting so close to finishing the final Mortal Instruments book. Part of me wants to just put it down and not finish it. Goodness knows I've done that with plenty of books, but I guess I'm just trekking through it so I can say I finished it. It's not a bad book, but it has gotten pretty boring. Too many expected turns and cliche moments. It's kinda like watching a bad soap opera.
Welp, COME ON THURSDAY!!
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Count down
Tomorrow begins my 1 week until Women's World Magazine release countdown. I am very nervous and I'm just as much in the dark as everyone else. Nope, I have not read the article or seen any of the images that could be used. I'm very concerned as to how it will turn out and what might be used out my interview. It was only a 1 hr interview that I gave over the phone. I just hope that it inspires others and doesn't make me look like a fake or a jerk. Gosh, I'm saying this now and there is no way to know how it will turn out. You wouldn't believe I have social anxiety now would you?
The last week I've been trying to cram extra books in. I finished Gone With the Wind, read Remember Me, and TORE through The Fault In Our Stars. I'm now on to The City of Heavenly Fire so I can finish out the Mortal Instruments series. I have no idea what I'll read next. But I must say, I'd recommend The Fault In Our Stars and Remember Me. If you like historical romance, it's not overly smutty, but unless you can't see and ending before it happens you'll be able to figure the ending out fast and still want to stick with it.
I've also been cramming in extra miles and most have been done at the local state park. They have a 3 mile track which I found amazing. Big thanks to my sister and her friend Jackie for having us along. The path is black top, but it has great views and I love all the fresh air I'm getting something I don't get on the treadmill. We went out on a Saturday and I loved it so much that the hubs tagged along with me and the kids and we did the trail again on Monday. The kids we're not as thrilled the second time around LOL Guess we'll be going back with a stroller since the wagon isn't big enough and none of the 3 can handle more than a mile. I've heard that literally dragging a kid along behind you is frowned upon.
It's been nearly a month now with our pet tortoise. Toothless is doing well. I've notice lots of growth on the top shell and it's eating and doing everything else it should. I guess we'll have it around for a lot longer. That just means I have to stay healthy because the little guy or gal should live about 40 to 50 years or more. LOL Gotta love a challenge right?
Work is still incredibly hectic. They have not replaced my friend Mary who passed in May, so I'm still filling in where I can. I still miss her so much. Today her family contacted us to tell us about her autopsy results. A brain aneurysm. More than anything I'd like to believe her passing was quick and painless. It's just so hard to believe she's gone. I still hear her laugh. I still expect to see her smile. I miss her stopping at my window to chat me up for 10 mins or so. Death is just to final, but I wouldn't wish a slow, lingering, pain filled death on her or anyone. God bless her. Miss you Mary <3
The last week I've been trying to cram extra books in. I finished Gone With the Wind, read Remember Me, and TORE through The Fault In Our Stars. I'm now on to The City of Heavenly Fire so I can finish out the Mortal Instruments series. I have no idea what I'll read next. But I must say, I'd recommend The Fault In Our Stars and Remember Me. If you like historical romance, it's not overly smutty, but unless you can't see and ending before it happens you'll be able to figure the ending out fast and still want to stick with it.
I've also been cramming in extra miles and most have been done at the local state park. They have a 3 mile track which I found amazing. Big thanks to my sister and her friend Jackie for having us along. The path is black top, but it has great views and I love all the fresh air I'm getting something I don't get on the treadmill. We went out on a Saturday and I loved it so much that the hubs tagged along with me and the kids and we did the trail again on Monday. The kids we're not as thrilled the second time around LOL Guess we'll be going back with a stroller since the wagon isn't big enough and none of the 3 can handle more than a mile. I've heard that literally dragging a kid along behind you is frowned upon.
It's been nearly a month now with our pet tortoise. Toothless is doing well. I've notice lots of growth on the top shell and it's eating and doing everything else it should. I guess we'll have it around for a lot longer. That just means I have to stay healthy because the little guy or gal should live about 40 to 50 years or more. LOL Gotta love a challenge right?
Work is still incredibly hectic. They have not replaced my friend Mary who passed in May, so I'm still filling in where I can. I still miss her so much. Today her family contacted us to tell us about her autopsy results. A brain aneurysm. More than anything I'd like to believe her passing was quick and painless. It's just so hard to believe she's gone. I still hear her laugh. I still expect to see her smile. I miss her stopping at my window to chat me up for 10 mins or so. Death is just to final, but I wouldn't wish a slow, lingering, pain filled death on her or anyone. God bless her. Miss you Mary <3
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Burning my candle at both ends
I haven't written in weeks and I'm sorry. I feel like I've lost so much. But since the death of my friend and coworker I've been doubling my work load and taking on hours I'm not used to. Eventually her job will be filled and I can resume my normal schedule, but for now I'm working days and afternoons and it's hard to work a day shift and come home and work out. My FitBit shows the sad tale and I feel horrible. And with all the rain in Michigan lately I've been in an emotional slump. But, I better start trying to fill in my month.
The first week of June our daughter's kinder class put on a spring concert/graduation. I felt horrible because we had the boys there, they would not sit still (that's normal), and Grace refused to sing in front of people. She told us later that she had a sore throat, that kids were too close to her and finally that she was afraid of people hearing her sing. AND to top off the whole horrible ordeal my ex bf and his baby momma were there because our daughters are in the same class. Now that's a long story, but just to sum it up we were never married, but we dated for 6 years, and I thought marriage was eventual. Our break up was mutual and was due to conflicting opinions on religion etc. I bear him no ill will, however, seeing him is still painful and embarrassing. I keep praying that my weight loss will disguise me and he will walk by and never know it's me. Unrealistic right?
June 7/8 were the Monroe Relay for Life. It was my first year participating with them and my 3rd Relay year. The size was amazing and the event was great overall. I was very pleased with the turnout. However, that ended when my husband quickly handed me my small purse and told me we were out of there because we were being targeted by a purse thief. I didn't notify anyone as we were on our way out and my husband was the one who witnessed the suspicious activity. Well, I wanted to be at a larger event. I guess it's back to Flat Rock next year or that ends Relay for me.
Father's day is another reason I was in a slump this month. It's a constant reminder to me that I am fatherless. I have many father figures, my grandfather (he's been the best father figure ever, props to him), my sister's father who acted as my father for 11 years until his divorce from my mother separated us, and my father in law who raised my amazing husband. But despite all of them I long for my birth father. He is alive. I know where he is. But I cannot make contact with him. The details of that long and sad story should remain locked in my head until I die, but I suppose one day I'll grow weak and seek him out just to put to rest all hopes that I have that he wanted me, that he was really a good person despite his fall from grace blah blah blah. Regardless, it puts me into a deep depression every year.
The final straw that broke the camel's back this month was my recent dentist trip to have my second wisdom tooth worked on. That appointment had me on edge anyway since my daughter was in the opposite chair having a small cavity taken care of. BUT this was my second visit for my wisdom teeth so I was calm about my own procedure. That was my first mistake. The same dentist/hygienist who took care of her also took care of me and her treatment of my daughter was fine, but she didn't numb me up as well as I needed, and our session was a nightmare. When she went in I honest to God felt pain and since my hands were on my chest I flung them wide. She panicked because she though I was trying to grab her which led to her reacting aggressively with me. Needless to say, I had to lay there while she berated me and told me how I should have acted, what she says I actually felt, which in her opinion was nothing and that I overreacted. Meanwhile, she's going to town on my tooth and it's hurting like heck and my eyes are pooling tears. After she was done she proceeded to tell me how to speak to my daughter about our next visit and that I should perhaps plan better so that I'm not in the chair after my kid so that I'm not already stressed out to prevent further incidents like the one I just had! I've never in my life been so embarrassed and humiliated. I'm looking for a new dentist now.
My month hasn't been all negative.
Grace graduated from kinder and her final grades from the state show she's doing extremely well in math. Far above state levels. Her reading level is what they call "middle of first grade" but she seems to be following her father's path, not mine, so that's to be expected. I went language and Bill did exceedingly well in math etc. I'm looking forward greatly to see where she goes in life. I encourage her to do anything she wants but I stress the importance of finishing school and getting a college degree.
We recently acquired a new pet, a redfoot tortoise named Toothless. It's still a baby and we won't know the gender for years but for the most part, I'm thinking it's male. It certainly acts brave, while I hear females are more shy and reserved. But time will tell. Here is a pic of my baby
The first week of June our daughter's kinder class put on a spring concert/graduation. I felt horrible because we had the boys there, they would not sit still (that's normal), and Grace refused to sing in front of people. She told us later that she had a sore throat, that kids were too close to her and finally that she was afraid of people hearing her sing. AND to top off the whole horrible ordeal my ex bf and his baby momma were there because our daughters are in the same class. Now that's a long story, but just to sum it up we were never married, but we dated for 6 years, and I thought marriage was eventual. Our break up was mutual and was due to conflicting opinions on religion etc. I bear him no ill will, however, seeing him is still painful and embarrassing. I keep praying that my weight loss will disguise me and he will walk by and never know it's me. Unrealistic right?
June 7/8 were the Monroe Relay for Life. It was my first year participating with them and my 3rd Relay year. The size was amazing and the event was great overall. I was very pleased with the turnout. However, that ended when my husband quickly handed me my small purse and told me we were out of there because we were being targeted by a purse thief. I didn't notify anyone as we were on our way out and my husband was the one who witnessed the suspicious activity. Well, I wanted to be at a larger event. I guess it's back to Flat Rock next year or that ends Relay for me.
Father's day is another reason I was in a slump this month. It's a constant reminder to me that I am fatherless. I have many father figures, my grandfather (he's been the best father figure ever, props to him), my sister's father who acted as my father for 11 years until his divorce from my mother separated us, and my father in law who raised my amazing husband. But despite all of them I long for my birth father. He is alive. I know where he is. But I cannot make contact with him. The details of that long and sad story should remain locked in my head until I die, but I suppose one day I'll grow weak and seek him out just to put to rest all hopes that I have that he wanted me, that he was really a good person despite his fall from grace blah blah blah. Regardless, it puts me into a deep depression every year.
The final straw that broke the camel's back this month was my recent dentist trip to have my second wisdom tooth worked on. That appointment had me on edge anyway since my daughter was in the opposite chair having a small cavity taken care of. BUT this was my second visit for my wisdom teeth so I was calm about my own procedure. That was my first mistake. The same dentist/hygienist who took care of her also took care of me and her treatment of my daughter was fine, but she didn't numb me up as well as I needed, and our session was a nightmare. When she went in I honest to God felt pain and since my hands were on my chest I flung them wide. She panicked because she though I was trying to grab her which led to her reacting aggressively with me. Needless to say, I had to lay there while she berated me and told me how I should have acted, what she says I actually felt, which in her opinion was nothing and that I overreacted. Meanwhile, she's going to town on my tooth and it's hurting like heck and my eyes are pooling tears. After she was done she proceeded to tell me how to speak to my daughter about our next visit and that I should perhaps plan better so that I'm not in the chair after my kid so that I'm not already stressed out to prevent further incidents like the one I just had! I've never in my life been so embarrassed and humiliated. I'm looking for a new dentist now.
My month hasn't been all negative.
Grace graduated from kinder and her final grades from the state show she's doing extremely well in math. Far above state levels. Her reading level is what they call "middle of first grade" but she seems to be following her father's path, not mine, so that's to be expected. I went language and Bill did exceedingly well in math etc. I'm looking forward greatly to see where she goes in life. I encourage her to do anything she wants but I stress the importance of finishing school and getting a college degree.
We recently acquired a new pet, a redfoot tortoise named Toothless. It's still a baby and we won't know the gender for years but for the most part, I'm thinking it's male. It certainly acts brave, while I hear females are more shy and reserved. But time will tell. Here is a pic of my baby
I will finish things up by saying that though I haven't made huge goals on my FitBit I have maintained my weight despite water weight fluctuations. I have been walking on my treadmill or outside with the kids. Our wagon shows heavy wear on the tires despite the fact that it's only a year old (LOL that is an accomplishment I think). I recently went on a walk with my sister and her friend at the local state park. It was lovely. I was very afraid that the kids would slow us down so I did my best despite their stops to keep the pace. Even after all our stops we still did a 3 mile or more trail in 57 mins. Not bad. I went home and did another hour on the treadmill. Today I'm sore so I'll be finishing up a book and hopefully starting The Fault in Our Stars. I hope for a good week this week as I should be receiving my yearly review. 10 days until my magazine comes out. Oh Lord, I pray I can show my face after this.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Long week, even longer weekend
This past week has been a long one. So to keep my entry on point I'll go day by day. Honestly, it's 9 am here, I have 3 kids fighting in the background, Dora is doing Spanish speaking (honestly, she says that) and I have only had 2 small cups of coffee. Please, forgive me LOL
Sunday night I had some disappointment. We are avid watchers of HBO's Game of Thrones, but Sunday they left us hanging and pushed back an episode until June 1st. I've read the books several times now, and I re read them prior to a new season airing. We're in the middle of season 4 so think I've got a reason to watch the show and call myself a dedicated fan LOL We stayed up until 11pm to watch what should have been the re air since we thought we'd missed the 9 pm showing because we were away from home. We were up until midnight for no reason. But I did catch this...
Sunday night I had some disappointment. We are avid watchers of HBO's Game of Thrones, but Sunday they left us hanging and pushed back an episode until June 1st. I've read the books several times now, and I re read them prior to a new season airing. We're in the middle of season 4 so think I've got a reason to watch the show and call myself a dedicated fan LOL We stayed up until 11pm to watch what should have been the re air since we thought we'd missed the 9 pm showing because we were away from home. We were up until midnight for no reason. But I did catch this...
Can I just say, wow?! We went to bed that night/morning shaking our heads because while I knew Myfitnesspal was impressed, I had no idea they intended to share my story on their Facebook page. The amount of attention it got, just wow. I was equally blown away by their blog post. It was very sweet of them.
I've started to get Myfitnesspal friend adds and Facebook messages from people who've seen this and while I try to answer questions, and thank those who congratulate me,add me's and friend me's make me just a little uncomfortable. I hope that I help someone, but I'm not sure how best to handle the attention. This is just so new to me.
Monday was a blur and so was Tuesday. Wednesday got interesting because I went in for a day shift and I loved it! It was nice to go home and see my kids faces. They were so surprised! I loved it! Wednesday I also managed to get a new treadmill. While it's not from the store new, it may as well be. A friend through my sister offered it up to anyone who would use it. I jumped on that offer so fast.
It's a Weslo Pro 7.9 Crosswalk and it's nothing special, but it beats my old Proform 345s crosswalk.
They're about 10 years apart and my Proform is just a straight up crosswalk treadmill. No fancy stuff. But it did the job. The Weslo has 5 pre set speed buttons and 6 workout pre sets. Plus, the belt is in like new shape for it's age of 2 years. I also love the bounce it has when you run. I'm hoping to get my sister in law to take the Proform back. It looks like she'll be getting married next year!
Thursday I worked another day shift and after work my husband and the kids met me for dinner at a local diner before Grace's kinder concert. They sang a few songs at a local church, though she stood for the most part and barely moved her lips. I think the worst part of attending her school functions is seeing my ex. No, we were never married but after 6 years of dating I ended things because it was never going anywhere. It's just so embarrassing.
Friday things had finally slowed down enough that I could get on my treadmill. I did 3 miles and it felt great! Work went by very quickly because all week I was in another department and Friday night I was in my normal department trying to get everything back in order. I managed it, but I only got 15 mins for lunch LOL
Saturday morning I packed the kids up and went to my grandparent's. Gram got home Thursday night after several weeks in the hospital and rehab. Her knee is doing well and she's moving around much better. I'm looking forward to the day when she can move around and have little to no pain. I hate seeing her in pain. It kills me.
I did manage to get on the treadmill afterwards. I had to. I picked up pizza on the way home and I felt so guilty. I walked 4 miles, over 500 calories worth, and we did some outdoor work as well. I got most of my flower beds dug up and moved some stuff around. We have to finish the rest when Bill gets home Sunday evening, but I think we may end up making another trip to get a bush or a tree. I want a pine tree so badly. A live Christmas tree <3
I'm looking forward to the next week. I want to find a new norm with work being so hectic right now. The treadmill helps a lot. It's "new" so I am happy to play with it, but it's very good stress relief if I can find the time during the next week to use it. I should also be finishing Gone With the Wind, which I love, and will be staring the finale to a series I started last year. I'm also hoping to get my work schedule nailed down, meet with my boss to discuss my job title etc and hopefully drop another lb. Mother nature got the best of me this week and I ate too much salt and ended up gaining about 7 lbs. I'm down to 152.6 which is a difference of 1.4 lbs from my lowest weigh in. I'd like to see the last of that drop off and finally, make it to my peak goal weight of 150. Fingers are crossed. If I make it I will see about scheduling my consult with the plastic surgeon to discuss my excess skin removal. At some point I may feel ready to share my current body images, but I just can't yet.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Shooting for normal or something like it
It was a long Memorial Day weekend filled with food and fun but now it's time to return to the grind and find a new norm. I'm looking at a complete upheaval at work, finding childcare for 3 during the summer and the upcoming magazine release. Life is a little chaotic to say the least but I'm trying to find a new normal. I've done so well with judging my own diet that I haven't been calorie counting using the Myfitnesspal app. But, I have done my best to make healthy choices when eating out or at a family member's house or just eating small portions and trying to fill on fruit or veggies. I'm waiting until the weekend to weigh in and get a more current weight since I've also avoided that. Between water weight and excess salt intake it's crept up and it makes me nervous.
So we got some things done around the house this weekend. Outside, so the inside has suffered drastically. Laundry as piled up and dishes are still in the sink. Nothing new. The outside work isn't fully completed but I'd like to share a shot of the house now, because I'm just so stinking proud.
New color on the left, old on the right. We went with a high gloss black and it's very chic. I'm looking forward to the door being repainted and a new light installed. Looking good though.
I'm going into work today and I'm pretty much looking at a sit down with our CEO's. I suggested a change in my hours but I'd like to know what they want future wise. I like having a tentative plan. It makes Dr's appointments easier etc. Especially since dentist appointments are coming soon.
FitBit, yeah, that has been awful. I'm really trying but most days I just don't have time to get on that treadmill and when I do have time I'm just so worn out. Gram is STILL in the hospice and Pa is still on his own. I've been trying to see both and get things done all over the place that it's stretching me thin. He doesn't make much mess, but I've been spending 2 or 3 hours over there on my off days and the housework between there and here just keeps piling up. No word on when Gram comes home and I'm biting my nails trying to figure out if our current sitter will take the boys this summer and if so, would they take Grace too?
It's Tuesday and for now, due to forces beyond my control, I'm on a limited workout schedule. So, I'd like to get my 30 in at the most and try to get my steps back up to a minimum of 10,000 a day. No more sitting at work and more walking if at all possible on my lunch break.
And finally, I'd like to just vent about a comment that was recently made by another Myfitnesspal user. I will not put a name on here, but the comment kinda stung. To paraphrase the other user's words, "What makes these people so special?" While the other user has lost a lot of weight, and the other user is also a mother, employee and student etc., I never set out to compete with anyone. This was my journey about me. I never set out to get any attention for my actions. It was my sister who wrote the local paper and the local news station that contacted her to interview me. I also garnered the attention of Women's World Magazine through that newspaper article. They also sought me out, not the other way around.
To answer the other users question, I don't know. I'm not special. But I've done something that for some reason people find inspiring. I'm not claiming that I am unique or that my story stands alone. I'm doing my best to encourage others, and if sharing my story does that how can that be a bad thing?
So we got some things done around the house this weekend. Outside, so the inside has suffered drastically. Laundry as piled up and dishes are still in the sink. Nothing new. The outside work isn't fully completed but I'd like to share a shot of the house now, because I'm just so stinking proud.
New color on the left, old on the right. We went with a high gloss black and it's very chic. I'm looking forward to the door being repainted and a new light installed. Looking good though.
I'm going into work today and I'm pretty much looking at a sit down with our CEO's. I suggested a change in my hours but I'd like to know what they want future wise. I like having a tentative plan. It makes Dr's appointments easier etc. Especially since dentist appointments are coming soon.
FitBit, yeah, that has been awful. I'm really trying but most days I just don't have time to get on that treadmill and when I do have time I'm just so worn out. Gram is STILL in the hospice and Pa is still on his own. I've been trying to see both and get things done all over the place that it's stretching me thin. He doesn't make much mess, but I've been spending 2 or 3 hours over there on my off days and the housework between there and here just keeps piling up. No word on when Gram comes home and I'm biting my nails trying to figure out if our current sitter will take the boys this summer and if so, would they take Grace too?
It's Tuesday and for now, due to forces beyond my control, I'm on a limited workout schedule. So, I'd like to get my 30 in at the most and try to get my steps back up to a minimum of 10,000 a day. No more sitting at work and more walking if at all possible on my lunch break.
And finally, I'd like to just vent about a comment that was recently made by another Myfitnesspal user. I will not put a name on here, but the comment kinda stung. To paraphrase the other user's words, "What makes these people so special?" While the other user has lost a lot of weight, and the other user is also a mother, employee and student etc., I never set out to compete with anyone. This was my journey about me. I never set out to get any attention for my actions. It was my sister who wrote the local paper and the local news station that contacted her to interview me. I also garnered the attention of Women's World Magazine through that newspaper article. They also sought me out, not the other way around.
To answer the other users question, I don't know. I'm not special. But I've done something that for some reason people find inspiring. I'm not claiming that I am unique or that my story stands alone. I'm doing my best to encourage others, and if sharing my story does that how can that be a bad thing?
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Weekend warrior, and a brief thank you.
This week has been hectic. Between trips to see my grandmother and trying to nail down a schedule for my workouts around my daily life I've been stuggling. The passing of my friend and coworker has affected me greatly. Her sudden death has left me feeling like there are no promises for tomorrow and for now I should just live in the moment. I was once so structered around my workouts and diet, and now I'm learning to just let it go. I'm doing my best to stick to what works, but I'm not beating myself up if I don't make my daily goals each day. For now, being a weekend workout warrior will have to suffice because the grief counselors said we should be forgiving of ourselves and just work on healing first. The last few pounds will be there when I am ready. For now, just trying to eat right and getting in 30 mins a day seems like enough. And that's ok.
I want to take a moment to address the influx of visitors to my page. I am very greatful to Katie of Runsforcookies.com for sharing my story with her readers. I never expected it, but I am very greatful. When I began my blog it was to record how I felt as I closed in on my 100lb goal. I never thought so many people would read it. I never expected all the attention I have received. I am very humbled by the works that I believe God has done through me, and I continue to hope and pray that someone who needs my message will be reached. You can change your life by making small changes. Weightloss is not instant, it will come in time. Make small goals and work to achieve them. Don't beat yourself up over bad days, just recommit the next day and try try again. So for anyone reading this, please have mercy on me and don't judge me to harshly for my earlier posts. As I said, I never really intended so many people to read my thoughts. While I greatly appreciate each and every read, I'm not a writer or a great philosopher. These are my humble thoughts and records of where my journey has taken me. Thank you again.
I want to take a moment to address the influx of visitors to my page. I am very greatful to Katie of Runsforcookies.com for sharing my story with her readers. I never expected it, but I am very greatful. When I began my blog it was to record how I felt as I closed in on my 100lb goal. I never thought so many people would read it. I never expected all the attention I have received. I am very humbled by the works that I believe God has done through me, and I continue to hope and pray that someone who needs my message will be reached. You can change your life by making small changes. Weightloss is not instant, it will come in time. Make small goals and work to achieve them. Don't beat yourself up over bad days, just recommit the next day and try try again. So for anyone reading this, please have mercy on me and don't judge me to harshly for my earlier posts. As I said, I never really intended so many people to read my thoughts. While I greatly appreciate each and every read, I'm not a writer or a great philosopher. These are my humble thoughts and records of where my journey has taken me. Thank you again.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Falling off the wagon
Friday after leaving work I spent some time just loving on my kids and trying to take in the fact that I wouldn't see my coworker again. When the Schwan's man came I ordered icecream cones for the kids and low cal icecream sandwiches for myself. It was nice to spend the time with them. It did help.
Saturday we had a random day. We piled into the van and drove through the neighborhood garage sales. After that we made our way to Monroe to check out what was going on there. When that failed to entertain us we drove out to see Bill's grandparent's home. The new owners had been doing a lot of remodeling. We also stopped at his uncle's garage sale just down a few homes. After that we drove out to Dundee and had lunch at Applebee's. I had a 550 cal steak meal and the kids had french bread pizza, low fat yogurt and strawberries and Bill had the pasta bowl. We did a quick run through Cabela's and got the kids kettle corn and a pressed penny. And after scarfing down the popcorn, we drove across the street to the Russell Stover store and got them each a small heart box with 3 bon bons each. Bill and I got a small treat each, mine was 140 cals. I then walked over to the St. Julian's winery and got some peach spumante and Bill some hard cider.
Later that evening Bill and I went out to Asiana's in Monroe for soup, spring rolls and some fried rice. We stopped in to see my Grandmother at the IHM rehab center. She had her knee replaced and is getting some TLC. We took Grace home, she'd gone to visit Gram with my Pa, and then headed out again to have a dinner date. I had wanted some simple comfort food but Panera's was closed so we ended up having some Mexican at the Blue Margarita's.
Just to show you where my train of thought was going I picked up a fitness video and spent most of Sunday working off Saturday. I felt bad that we ate out so much. But I just couldn't handle my friend's passing without some comfort food. I'm doing my best to get back on but the sitting through counseling and trying to make up all the work at work that we skipped Friday is killing me. I did do some dancing at my desk last night but I never got to 10,000 steps.
They say it gets easier, but each time I see her office I want to see her there. I'm praying she's found peace. I'm angry that she's gone. I'm horrified to think of her last minutes. But if anyone deserves heaven, it would be Mary. She was so funny and kind. Mary, if you could read this blog post, you'd be happy to know that I finally ate something not green LOL I even brought in chocolate chocolate chip cookies and chocolate chip cookies at work for the ladies. We miss you. </3
Saturday we had a random day. We piled into the van and drove through the neighborhood garage sales. After that we made our way to Monroe to check out what was going on there. When that failed to entertain us we drove out to see Bill's grandparent's home. The new owners had been doing a lot of remodeling. We also stopped at his uncle's garage sale just down a few homes. After that we drove out to Dundee and had lunch at Applebee's. I had a 550 cal steak meal and the kids had french bread pizza, low fat yogurt and strawberries and Bill had the pasta bowl. We did a quick run through Cabela's and got the kids kettle corn and a pressed penny. And after scarfing down the popcorn, we drove across the street to the Russell Stover store and got them each a small heart box with 3 bon bons each. Bill and I got a small treat each, mine was 140 cals. I then walked over to the St. Julian's winery and got some peach spumante and Bill some hard cider.
Later that evening Bill and I went out to Asiana's in Monroe for soup, spring rolls and some fried rice. We stopped in to see my Grandmother at the IHM rehab center. She had her knee replaced and is getting some TLC. We took Grace home, she'd gone to visit Gram with my Pa, and then headed out again to have a dinner date. I had wanted some simple comfort food but Panera's was closed so we ended up having some Mexican at the Blue Margarita's.
Just to show you where my train of thought was going I picked up a fitness video and spent most of Sunday working off Saturday. I felt bad that we ate out so much. But I just couldn't handle my friend's passing without some comfort food. I'm doing my best to get back on but the sitting through counseling and trying to make up all the work at work that we skipped Friday is killing me. I did do some dancing at my desk last night but I never got to 10,000 steps.
They say it gets easier, but each time I see her office I want to see her there. I'm praying she's found peace. I'm angry that she's gone. I'm horrified to think of her last minutes. But if anyone deserves heaven, it would be Mary. She was so funny and kind. Mary, if you could read this blog post, you'd be happy to know that I finally ate something not green LOL I even brought in chocolate chocolate chip cookies and chocolate chip cookies at work for the ladies. We miss you. </3
Sunday, May 18, 2014
A week of high highs and extreme lows
On Monday, May 12th my grandmother had her knee replaced. The surgery didn't last as long as I expected it to. She went in at 7:30am and was out and in recovery at around 9:45am. We didn't get to see her for a while afterwards because no one notified us that she had been moved to a room. After seeing her settled into her room I headed home to grab lunch and get to work.
Mondays are usually hectic and I had plenty to do to keep me busy. I take care of the paperwork from the weekend and any labels taken out must be replaced. I handle our Cintas uniform rental stuff and then get both the customer service stuff and accounting stuff taken care of. I'm usually back to my desk after 5pm. That evening I checked my email and I found a message from Myfitnesspal, which is my smart phone app that I used to track my meals.
Dear Yvette,
My name is Olivia and I work for MyFitnessPal. I am reaching out to you today on behalf of our team to both thank and congratulate you on your impressive weight loss success. Having just watched your piece on CNN we are all touched by your journey and thankful your inspirational story is getting out there to help others on their journey.
We would love to send you a small thank you gift; would it be possible for us to have your mailing address? We will only use this information for this purpose and will not share it outside the company of course.
Congratulations again on your success!
Kindly,
Olivia
MyFitnessPal Community Manager
I was shocked to say the least! I jumped on that email, I think, faster than they had anticipated LOL Thank you smart phone email app. What really got me excited was
Mondays are usually hectic and I had plenty to do to keep me busy. I take care of the paperwork from the weekend and any labels taken out must be replaced. I handle our Cintas uniform rental stuff and then get both the customer service stuff and accounting stuff taken care of. I'm usually back to my desk after 5pm. That evening I checked my email and I found a message from Myfitnesspal, which is my smart phone app that I used to track my meals.
Dear Yvette,
My name is Olivia and I work for MyFitnessPal. I am reaching out to you today on behalf of our team to both thank and congratulate you on your impressive weight loss success. Having just watched your piece on CNN we are all touched by your journey and thankful your inspirational story is getting out there to help others on their journey.
We would love to send you a small thank you gift; would it be possible for us to have your mailing address? We will only use this information for this purpose and will not share it outside the company of course.
Congratulations again on your success!
Kindly,
Olivia
MyFitnessPal Community Manager
I was shocked to say the least! I jumped on that email, I think, faster than they had anticipated LOL Thank you smart phone email app. What really got me excited was
OMG I made CNN! I'm so afraid to check the mail now LOL
Tuesday was nice because Bill got home within an hour or so of going into work so I could go see Gram at the hospital. I was really worried because she didn't seem to be doing to well. Leaving her there was so hard.
On Wednesday Bill and I went grocery shopping at Woodhaven Meijer after dropping my van off at the Crest Ford dealership on Gibralter in Flat Rock. I think the most exciting thing that happened all week happened there. I MET KATIE FOSTER!
I was headed back to grab a tube of toothpaste and she just walked by me! I turned after it clicked and just said, "Katie?" She turned, and OMG, she said, "Yes?" I ran into a celebrity! After I told her how she had inspired me I asked if I could get a photo, which she graciously said yes to! You can see just how excited I am here LOL She is such a lovely person to meet! Thanks Katie! I spent the rest of the day on cloud 9.
On Thursday I took a trip up to see Gram. She had been doing much better day after day. Bill took the boys to get fruit and left me at the hospital. Gram was being moved that day to a rehab center so when we left I took the balloons I had gotten her. Mylar, not my favorite. Work was ok, I got plenty done but I was anxious all day about Gram's move that I missed what was going on at work personally.
On Friday I got my workout in and was feeling really good about what I got done at the house before work. I got the boys off to the sitters and made it to work on time. I was rather stressed but I managed to get through the first hour. After that everything, my week, my emotions, all of it, went down hill like an avalanche of the deepest darkest poo from Hades.
I stopped off at my first stop, checking in with Teri to drop off orders. She seemed rather distraught. I thought it was a family issue the way she clung to her cell phone. She told me she was waiting for word about Mary. Mary had called in Thursday ill, saying she had a headache and that she'd be in late. She said it was unlike Mary not to come in or call and then be a no call no show to work on Friday and that Lisa, our executive secretary, had gone to check on her. I tried to shrug it off and be optimistic about it. I didn't know Mary well enough to make a judgment. So, I told her to keep me updated and went on to accounting.
The ladies in accounting were worse. Both were on and off the phones and were telling me that the police had been called in to find out why Mary wasn't answering the phone calls etc. Her car was found in the garage, but there was no response. Within a few minutes our human resources director came in to tell us what had been found. Mary was dead. I had prayed and cried for God to please be with Mary, but it would seem that the best course for God was to have Mary with Him.
The rest of the evening was hard to say the least. I had really liked Mary. I felt so cheated that I hadn't gotten to know Mary better. She was funny, thoughtful and she brightened up a room.
Mary (left) and Lisa (right) on a trip they shared to Hawaii in October, 2013 Waikiki Beach.
It's so hard to believe that someone who's smile and laughter were SO infectious is gone. Like that. No goodbye. No obvious reason. I can't get over it. All the memories, the funny conversations. Gone. It's just so hard to take. I pray your family does your life justice Mary. I pray that you have found your mother in heaven, and that you have seen the face of our heavenly father and he has smiled on you. I will miss you friend.
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Tv shows and photo shoots
On Wednesday, May 7th Kelly from Photos By K came out for the photo shoot for Women's World Magazine. I had to fill out forms as a model giving my permission for my images and my children's to become property of the magazine. We had to shoot several different scenes. In the kitchen cutting up apples, at the computer, in front of the entertainment center and outside. It was a lot of fun and the kids loved it. They got really hyper but I think for the most part the photographers got what they needed. I'm so excited to see the shots. Kelly informed me after the shoot that the issue should be out in June and that their photo dept would probably select a few pics for the spread. I'm hoping they do a good job. I've never liked photos. But Kelly assured me that I looked good and that her pics would flatter my figure. Oh, God. My figure....
On Thursday Liam had his first dentist appointment. It went rather well, or at least it was less painful than I anticipated. We walked to the store afterwards and we helped Bill finish up the shopping for the week. I happened to grab a pair of "lightweight" Fila shoes. I'm loving the slip on velcro tops. There are no laces, just a bungee cord which gives me some extra room for my high arches. They're very comfortable and a good buy at just $33 on clearance from $55.
I managed to get to work on time that day and when I sat down at 1 I figured I'd double check my email since my phone had pinged earlier on my drive in. I don't check emails or texts when I drive so when I sit down to lunch at 1pm I check it then. I had an email from Anu Prakash!
Hi there
Just wanted you to know that your story will be on tonight at 5:30. That's the plan so far!
Thanks again for everything and it was a pleasure meeting you and your family!
Best
Anu
I immediately messaged and called my family members. So many of them wanted to know and had been asking. Waiting those last hours was painful to say the least. But at 5:30 I sat in front of the computer at work and turn on the live web feed to watch my story air.
On Thursday Liam had his first dentist appointment. It went rather well, or at least it was less painful than I anticipated. We walked to the store afterwards and we helped Bill finish up the shopping for the week. I happened to grab a pair of "lightweight" Fila shoes. I'm loving the slip on velcro tops. There are no laces, just a bungee cord which gives me some extra room for my high arches. They're very comfortable and a good buy at just $33 on clearance from $55.
I managed to get to work on time that day and when I sat down at 1 I figured I'd double check my email since my phone had pinged earlier on my drive in. I don't check emails or texts when I drive so when I sit down to lunch at 1pm I check it then. I had an email from Anu Prakash!
Hi there
Just wanted you to know that your story will be on tonight at 5:30. That's the plan so far!
Thanks again for everything and it was a pleasure meeting you and your family!
Best
Anu
I immediately messaged and called my family members. So many of them wanted to know and had been asking. Waiting those last hours was painful to say the least. But at 5:30 I sat in front of the computer at work and turn on the live web feed to watch my story air.
May 8th, 2014
When it aired I missed a lot of it. I was holding my breath and I think I cried. Within an hour it was online and I re watched it a few times to just get it all but I like it. I wish some things had been said and a few things had not, but the overall message is there.
Friday I got the call from Women's World Magazine about my issue release date. It will be dated July 14th, but will be on sale from July 3rd to July 9th. The 4th of July weekend is huge because so many people are on vacation and this means big sales on magazines and books. I'm really excited to see the cover and will share it as soon as I'm able. :)
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Meeting Channel 7's Anu Prakash
7 am came rather quickly on Thursday. We knew we had a lot to do but thanks to plenty of hard work done outside by my husband, and some pre-cleaning done inside the night before by all of us we had plenty of time to prepare for the film crew.
At 9:21 I received a text message from Colleen Clement that their reporter, Anu Prakash, and their photographer, Johnny Sartin, were on their way. That excited me because Anu Prakash was a name I knew! So when 10:30 rolled around we were ready and waiting!
Anu Prakash herself called me to tell me they had arrived and after some last minute primping and preparing they were at my door! My first thought when I met Anu was just how petite she was and it made me very self conscious. Despite my weightloss standing next to someone who is small framed makes me feel enormous. But Anu's personality is not small. She is warm and bubbly and the kids took to her quickly. Grace was shy but the boys went right to her and greeted her with hugs and introduced themselves.
Johnny decided which rooms would be used and where we should sit. That made me glad we had washed down the chairs the night before, because Liam likes to smear food on them and he also licks the back rests LOL
After some initial questions, which I assume were meant to relax me, Anu started the interview. It was at that moment that I felt something calm me, I had this. I took speech in college after all. So, I did my best to keep my cool. I'm glad my sister was there since her presence helped me stay grounded. I wish my grandmother could have been there though. She had pre-surgery prep at the hospital.
Anu asked all the questions I expected. What made me want to lose the weight? How did it make me feel when I couldn't play with my children like I wanted to? Where did I get my diet ideas from? What does my diet consist of? What were my workouts like? Again, absolute amazement that I didn't have help of any kind. And of course: How has my life changed since the weightloss?
I think the interview with the Monroe Evening News, and the 1 hour interview with Women's World Magazine really helped me. I spent a lot of time going over things in my head which I wished I'd said. Those what ifs bothered me. I also think the praying before hand helped. While I did feel awkward a lot, I didn't feel afraid like I thought I would.
After we filmed all the necessary shots I got in a pic with Anu thanks to my sister Mercedes for taking the shot <3
At 9:21 I received a text message from Colleen Clement that their reporter, Anu Prakash, and their photographer, Johnny Sartin, were on their way. That excited me because Anu Prakash was a name I knew! So when 10:30 rolled around we were ready and waiting!
Anu Prakash herself called me to tell me they had arrived and after some last minute primping and preparing they were at my door! My first thought when I met Anu was just how petite she was and it made me very self conscious. Despite my weightloss standing next to someone who is small framed makes me feel enormous. But Anu's personality is not small. She is warm and bubbly and the kids took to her quickly. Grace was shy but the boys went right to her and greeted her with hugs and introduced themselves.
Johnny decided which rooms would be used and where we should sit. That made me glad we had washed down the chairs the night before, because Liam likes to smear food on them and he also licks the back rests LOL
After some initial questions, which I assume were meant to relax me, Anu started the interview. It was at that moment that I felt something calm me, I had this. I took speech in college after all. So, I did my best to keep my cool. I'm glad my sister was there since her presence helped me stay grounded. I wish my grandmother could have been there though. She had pre-surgery prep at the hospital.
Anu asked all the questions I expected. What made me want to lose the weight? How did it make me feel when I couldn't play with my children like I wanted to? Where did I get my diet ideas from? What does my diet consist of? What were my workouts like? Again, absolute amazement that I didn't have help of any kind. And of course: How has my life changed since the weightloss?
I think the interview with the Monroe Evening News, and the 1 hour interview with Women's World Magazine really helped me. I spent a lot of time going over things in my head which I wished I'd said. Those what ifs bothered me. I also think the praying before hand helped. While I did feel awkward a lot, I didn't feel afraid like I thought I would.
After we filmed all the necessary shots I got in a pic with Anu thanks to my sister Mercedes for taking the shot <3
Me meeting Anu Prakash of Channel 7 News Detroit, Mi
I'm not sure when the piece will air, after nearly 2 hours of filming I hope they got plenty of good stuff to use. I'm so afraid of the thoughts of others, that I have probably made myself sick. And I'm pretty sure there are people who think I'm lying and making this all up. This whole journey I've been doing my best to prove that I'm not a fake, I will do the things I say I will do. I will succeed and I will get healthy. I know I don't have to prove myself, but the negative comments hurt all the same. Here's to the men and women who go through this journey and feel that fear, I feel you! My love <3
Friday, May 2, 2014
Caught in the whirlwind
This past week has been amazing! In so many ways I feel blessed, but at the same time I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Good things rarely come without a bitter taste in the end. I'm just praying it doesn't.
On Thursday, April 24th I got what seemed like a random phone call at work after 2 pm. I really thought it was a junk call, someone just looking to sell us something. The caller (Taryn Phillips-Quinn) claimed to be from Woman's World Magazine, and I didn't have a subscription so I figured it was some kind of joke. Turns out it was no joke. A research editor from the magazine was calling to ask if I'd be interested in my story being told. I told her I was and she asked to set up an interview date via phone. So Friday I waited for the call at 10:30 and lo and behold! It was real! After a 1 hr interview I was told I would hear something by Monday, Tuesday at the latest. That she would type up the article and the Chief Editor would say yes or no. I then did my best to go about my weekend, though definitely in a daze.
On Monday I waited by the phone. I babysat that thing. Taking it from room to room with me. I even turned it up as loud as the ringer would go so I could get my shower in before work. I stood in the shower listening for the phone. I think that's where I just felt ridiculous. I was losing it over a phone call. So, I prayed. I just asked God to please use me. If it was His will that I get the magazine article that I would use my story to lift Him up. But that if He has something else in mind for me, that I would be ok with that and I would let His will be done. I felt much better after that. Much more resigned.
I began to pack my lunch and get ready to leave when my phone rang and it was my sister. I thought I was going to have to tell someone that I hadn't heard anything and that I would call when I did. That's when I got the craziest news I've ever received. And that's saying a lot for my family LOL The local library where my surprise party took place had called to say that a rep from Channel 7 news out of Detroit, Mi wanted to air my story! An interview on camera! I was still packing my lunch and needed to walk out the door but I just stopped moving and started screaming OH MY GOD!!!! My husband pretty much came running to see if I was ok, or if it was one of the kids. When he saw the situation he asked me if I got the magazine, and I told him, no I got a TV piece!!!
I finished packing my lunch as fast as I could because I really did need to get into work. As I'm walking out the door my phone rings again and this time it's Colleen Clement! The executive producer at Channel 7!!!! Colleen flat out asked if they could interview me and my family and would I be ready for Tuesday? The next day? No way, but Thursday for sure. I talked to Bill before I set it in stone and we started getting ready that night.
The spent the rest of Monday waiting to hear back from Woman's World. I never thought the call would come anyway so I just kept telling myself it would be ok. I didn't need a magazine to tell me what I've done. I didn't. But I was starting to get a little heartbroken.
On Tuesday I followed the same pattern as Monday. Waiting to hear back and telling myself I could handle the rejection when it finally came. I went to work and I did the same thing. No one asked me if I got it. I was glad for that because the call never came. I sent the editor a letter that night thanking them for their time, and told them I was flattered regardless of the fact that they had clearly rejected the article. I told them I had some consolation with the up coming tv story and I asked if they could please send me the article anyway so I could add it to my weightloss momentos. I was sad, but I would live.
Wednesday we got up and started to do our usual morning routine, clean and run to the grocery store. I needed to finally buy a bra if I was going to do this interview. I've been wearing nothing but sports bras since the fall when my breast size was reduced to nothing. I had tried on several sizes but nothing fit right. I felt deflated. So here I am, at a local grocery store trying on bras. I felt like crying. Nothing fit and everything showed how my breast tissue was damaged. I had just given up and was returning a bra to the rack when I heard my phone ping, indicating an email. I ignored it thinking it was junk mail and checked Google for bra sizing and then went to my mail app to delete the junk mail. That's when my heart stopped and I went full panic mode in the store.
I GOT THE MAGAZINE!!!!
So I'm standing in the front of the store gaping at my phone. Reading over and over again the words, "As a matter of fact, we ARE going ahead with your story!" I started to cry, and I could clearly hear a favorite song overhead. I remember so long ago hearing it and praying for God to help me. To take my pain and make it something beautiful. That song spoke to me. It seemed like for once God had answered me, like He was right there telling me it's ok. You've done well and here is your reward. Make me proud.
I started trying to call my husband's phone, but in the store it had no tower signal so I went running up and down isles trying to find him and our kids. When I did find him I'm sure I looked like a mess. He asked me what was wrong. Clothes shopping is a bit frustrating for me and I can cry when I do it. I managed to tell him somehow that I got the magazine. He looked a bit taken aback. I'm sure he felt the same as I did, that it wouldn't happen. But boy were we wrong!
Well, here we come Channel 7 action news! I'm gonna be plastered all over the place!
Just use me God. Help me to help others <3
On Thursday, April 24th I got what seemed like a random phone call at work after 2 pm. I really thought it was a junk call, someone just looking to sell us something. The caller (Taryn Phillips-Quinn) claimed to be from Woman's World Magazine, and I didn't have a subscription so I figured it was some kind of joke. Turns out it was no joke. A research editor from the magazine was calling to ask if I'd be interested in my story being told. I told her I was and she asked to set up an interview date via phone. So Friday I waited for the call at 10:30 and lo and behold! It was real! After a 1 hr interview I was told I would hear something by Monday, Tuesday at the latest. That she would type up the article and the Chief Editor would say yes or no. I then did my best to go about my weekend, though definitely in a daze.
On Monday I waited by the phone. I babysat that thing. Taking it from room to room with me. I even turned it up as loud as the ringer would go so I could get my shower in before work. I stood in the shower listening for the phone. I think that's where I just felt ridiculous. I was losing it over a phone call. So, I prayed. I just asked God to please use me. If it was His will that I get the magazine article that I would use my story to lift Him up. But that if He has something else in mind for me, that I would be ok with that and I would let His will be done. I felt much better after that. Much more resigned.
I began to pack my lunch and get ready to leave when my phone rang and it was my sister. I thought I was going to have to tell someone that I hadn't heard anything and that I would call when I did. That's when I got the craziest news I've ever received. And that's saying a lot for my family LOL The local library where my surprise party took place had called to say that a rep from Channel 7 news out of Detroit, Mi wanted to air my story! An interview on camera! I was still packing my lunch and needed to walk out the door but I just stopped moving and started screaming OH MY GOD!!!! My husband pretty much came running to see if I was ok, or if it was one of the kids. When he saw the situation he asked me if I got the magazine, and I told him, no I got a TV piece!!!
I finished packing my lunch as fast as I could because I really did need to get into work. As I'm walking out the door my phone rings again and this time it's Colleen Clement! The executive producer at Channel 7!!!! Colleen flat out asked if they could interview me and my family and would I be ready for Tuesday? The next day? No way, but Thursday for sure. I talked to Bill before I set it in stone and we started getting ready that night.
The spent the rest of Monday waiting to hear back from Woman's World. I never thought the call would come anyway so I just kept telling myself it would be ok. I didn't need a magazine to tell me what I've done. I didn't. But I was starting to get a little heartbroken.
On Tuesday I followed the same pattern as Monday. Waiting to hear back and telling myself I could handle the rejection when it finally came. I went to work and I did the same thing. No one asked me if I got it. I was glad for that because the call never came. I sent the editor a letter that night thanking them for their time, and told them I was flattered regardless of the fact that they had clearly rejected the article. I told them I had some consolation with the up coming tv story and I asked if they could please send me the article anyway so I could add it to my weightloss momentos. I was sad, but I would live.
Wednesday we got up and started to do our usual morning routine, clean and run to the grocery store. I needed to finally buy a bra if I was going to do this interview. I've been wearing nothing but sports bras since the fall when my breast size was reduced to nothing. I had tried on several sizes but nothing fit right. I felt deflated. So here I am, at a local grocery store trying on bras. I felt like crying. Nothing fit and everything showed how my breast tissue was damaged. I had just given up and was returning a bra to the rack when I heard my phone ping, indicating an email. I ignored it thinking it was junk mail and checked Google for bra sizing and then went to my mail app to delete the junk mail. That's when my heart stopped and I went full panic mode in the store.
I GOT THE MAGAZINE!!!!
So I'm standing in the front of the store gaping at my phone. Reading over and over again the words, "As a matter of fact, we ARE going ahead with your story!" I started to cry, and I could clearly hear a favorite song overhead. I remember so long ago hearing it and praying for God to help me. To take my pain and make it something beautiful. That song spoke to me. It seemed like for once God had answered me, like He was right there telling me it's ok. You've done well and here is your reward. Make me proud.
I started trying to call my husband's phone, but in the store it had no tower signal so I went running up and down isles trying to find him and our kids. When I did find him I'm sure I looked like a mess. He asked me what was wrong. Clothes shopping is a bit frustrating for me and I can cry when I do it. I managed to tell him somehow that I got the magazine. He looked a bit taken aback. I'm sure he felt the same as I did, that it wouldn't happen. But boy were we wrong!
Well, here we come Channel 7 action news! I'm gonna be plastered all over the place!
Just use me God. Help me to help others <3
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Things I lost with the weight and things I've gained through the loss
1. I don't miss waking up in pain.
2. I don't miss knee pain in the evening.
3. I don't miss back pain from standing or sitting too long.
4. I don't miss having to put on a Poise pad first thing in the morning.
5. I don't miss having to change a Poise pad after I laugh or sneeze.
6. I don't miss having to roll down my socks because my calves are so wide the elastic on my socks wears out too quickly AND they cut off circulation to my feet.
7. I don't miss having to use body powder after I shower to prevent chaffing and sweat spots in my creases.
8. I don't miss having to slather on deodorant because I would sweat all the time.
9. I don't miss having to wear dark clothes because my sweating would cause pit stains.
10. I don't miss avoiding stairs because they would cause me to sweat and create stains at horrible times.
11. I don't miss shopping in plus sized stores.
12. I don't miss plus sized clothing, they look awful.
13. I don't miss my "pregnant" belly.
14. I don't miss being asked if I'm pregnant.
15. I don't miss my head pounding like it was going to pop off when I tried to bend over and tie shoes (I just switched to slip ons).
16. I don't worry about what people think when they see me.
17. I can use normal towels in the bathroom now. Yes, it's a big deal LOL.
18. I like to go out with my kids and I don't get winded when I play with them.
19. I can run with my kids and they tell me to slow down.
20. I can do a lot more before I get tired. I'm talking hours or miles and I'm still good to go.
21. My relationship with my husband has changed, A LOT. I like who I am and I can stop obsessing over what I think he's thinking about when he sees my body.
22. I don't miss junk food.
23. I don't miss pop, it's really gross now.
24. I can cross my legs.
25. I WANT to have my picture taken. Look at my albums, I'm missing.
26. My husband says he can hug me now and it feels good when he does it. No more squeezing just to get his hands clasped behind me.
27. I can fit both legs into one leg on my old pair of "fat pants".
28. People tell me I'm getting too skinny and that I need to eat something.
29. I avoided people, especially people who knew me when I was "skinnier". Now I'm skinnier than I was when they knew me in school.
30. I feel pretty now. Being told I was pretty was a hard compliment to take at my highest weight.
31. I can snuggle my husband on the couch or even two kids at one time! I don't take up as much space as I did before so there is more room and it makes momma easier to love.
32. I don't dread walking anymore.
33. I don't have hemorrhoids anymore. LOL TMI
34. Not wearing over sized clothes to "hide" my body. I love not wearing a tent.
35. I love buying underwear that fit and don't fold over at the top when I sit.
36. My children seem so proud of me, Grace tells people all the time how healthy I'm getting. She once told someone I lost over 200lbs. LOL Not even close.
37. I don't miss my seat belt getting stuck in the door because it was pulled out too far and won't retract.
38. I don't miss my stomach touching the steering wheel.
39. I don't miss crawling on the floor to something that I can use to brace myself when I stand up.
40. I'm not embarrassed by the contents of our shopping cart.
41. I ENJOY working out.
42.
2. I don't miss knee pain in the evening.
3. I don't miss back pain from standing or sitting too long.
4. I don't miss having to put on a Poise pad first thing in the morning.
5. I don't miss having to change a Poise pad after I laugh or sneeze.
6. I don't miss having to roll down my socks because my calves are so wide the elastic on my socks wears out too quickly AND they cut off circulation to my feet.
7. I don't miss having to use body powder after I shower to prevent chaffing and sweat spots in my creases.
8. I don't miss having to slather on deodorant because I would sweat all the time.
9. I don't miss having to wear dark clothes because my sweating would cause pit stains.
10. I don't miss avoiding stairs because they would cause me to sweat and create stains at horrible times.
11. I don't miss shopping in plus sized stores.
12. I don't miss plus sized clothing, they look awful.
13. I don't miss my "pregnant" belly.
14. I don't miss being asked if I'm pregnant.
15. I don't miss my head pounding like it was going to pop off when I tried to bend over and tie shoes (I just switched to slip ons).
16. I don't worry about what people think when they see me.
17. I can use normal towels in the bathroom now. Yes, it's a big deal LOL.
18. I like to go out with my kids and I don't get winded when I play with them.
19. I can run with my kids and they tell me to slow down.
20. I can do a lot more before I get tired. I'm talking hours or miles and I'm still good to go.
21. My relationship with my husband has changed, A LOT. I like who I am and I can stop obsessing over what I think he's thinking about when he sees my body.
22. I don't miss junk food.
23. I don't miss pop, it's really gross now.
24. I can cross my legs.
25. I WANT to have my picture taken. Look at my albums, I'm missing.
26. My husband says he can hug me now and it feels good when he does it. No more squeezing just to get his hands clasped behind me.
27. I can fit both legs into one leg on my old pair of "fat pants".
28. People tell me I'm getting too skinny and that I need to eat something.
29. I avoided people, especially people who knew me when I was "skinnier". Now I'm skinnier than I was when they knew me in school.
30. I feel pretty now. Being told I was pretty was a hard compliment to take at my highest weight.
31. I can snuggle my husband on the couch or even two kids at one time! I don't take up as much space as I did before so there is more room and it makes momma easier to love.
32. I don't dread walking anymore.
33. I don't have hemorrhoids anymore. LOL TMI
34. Not wearing over sized clothes to "hide" my body. I love not wearing a tent.
35. I love buying underwear that fit and don't fold over at the top when I sit.
36. My children seem so proud of me, Grace tells people all the time how healthy I'm getting. She once told someone I lost over 200lbs. LOL Not even close.
37. I don't miss my seat belt getting stuck in the door because it was pulled out too far and won't retract.
38. I don't miss my stomach touching the steering wheel.
39. I don't miss crawling on the floor to something that I can use to brace myself when I stand up.
40. I'm not embarrassed by the contents of our shopping cart.
41. I ENJOY working out.
42.
Friday, April 25, 2014
A week in review
This week I've been pushing myself rather hard. Since being friended on FitBit by another local friend I've been picking up the pace. Bill sorta dropped out of the running, sort of speaking, and this friend caught me during a time when I said I had no reason to push myself. I had to up my game just to save face. It was a good kick in the pants. I made my first 25,000 badge and I'm SO much closer to my first 250 mile badge.
Wednesday we took the time out to head down to the zoo. We had a great time and I got my first pic there with my kids.
Wednesday we took the time out to head down to the zoo. We had a great time and I got my first pic there with my kids.
April 23rd, 2014
I've gotten my 5 miles a day and I've pushed to do more. On Saturday I did over 10 miles. I think it was 11, you can see my weekly reports on another post. While at the zoo I got my 10,000 steps in before 2pm so I rewarded myself with a small stuffed animal from the Trading Post.
As you can see I sorta have a thing for turtles and tortoises. I do break for turtles. My job is located right next to the Huron River in Flat Rock, Mi and we have a bridge that we use as our entry road. Turtles like to cross there to obviously get to the other side since the bridge also was created as a hydro dam. Long story, goes back to the original Mr. Ford. The plant I work at was built to make headlamps for the model T. To power the plant a hydro plant and damn was built along side it. Part of the building I work in is the existing Ford plant. Ironically, we process sheet metal for chrome and painted bumpers for Ford and other pick up trucks.
Thursday I returned to work and at around 2:30? I received a call I thought was a prank. Turns out, it wasn't. Women's World Magazine has asked to interview me at 10:30am Friday morning for a possible article in their magazine!!! OMG!!! I'm certainly flattered that they snooped around to find me, and I'm even more flattered that they are considering me! Wish me luck!
On a side note Katie Foster who I follow here on Blogger and on Facebook has also had a cover and an article in Women's World Magazine. Katie, who lives in Newport, and was in Runner's World Magazine. I'd love to be a runner like her, although I think I would just love to run for myself and nothing major. While I'd seriously entertain the notion of doing a half or a full marathon it would take me WAY too long as I have yet to master breathing and I'd drop dead after 10 miles LOL
So, the weekend is shaping up to be great! I should complete my first 250 mile badge, get some good time in with the family at our make up Easter dinner on Sunday and just enjoy myself with a book. Maybe.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Life just keeps getting crazier
So Sunday I started a post and before I could finish it my life got chaotic. Liam decided to climb, nothing new there I assure you, and fell and split his upper lip open. It was bad enough I could have taken him to the er and had a stitch put in. But more than likely they would have taken too long to get to him, and by then it would have stopped bleeding, the swelling would have gone down, and the wound would have begun to scab up. My poor Grandmother had to come over because I couldn't reach my husband at work, not a surprise. So my Sunday post got scrapped AND I missed the HBO release of GoT Season 4 episode 2. Lovely....
Monday felt like I was slogging through mud. I was tired and I felt bloated all day. I got my 10,000 steps in, and I got my 30 of "intense" activity complete. I think I ended up with 15,000 + steps and 40 mins of high activity. Thank goodness for walking after lunch. It's the only thing that does it.
Monday felt like I was slogging through mud. I was tired and I felt bloated all day. I got my 10,000 steps in, and I got my 30 of "intense" activity complete. I think I ended up with 15,000 + steps and 40 mins of high activity. Thank goodness for walking after lunch. It's the only thing that does it.
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Catching up
So today I decided to do some marching in place while I watched a Metro City video. For anyone that doesn't know about Metro, Metro City is a non-denominational church. They're pretty cool, and I would love to go weekly again, but the kids made it very hard in the past. Metro puts their services online for people to view again and again. So I keep up online. While I watched part 2 of Coexist I went through the notebooks and tore out old pages. Lo and behold I find my old blog account information so, lucky me, I get to load all my new blog stuff on and make up for lost time. I spent hours trying to crack into this account to salvage my old posts. I'm so glad to have it back.
Today I updated all my posts from my sister blog, Thinbythirtythejourney.blogspot.com. I had 10 posts on there, but most of them had to do with my MEN articles etc. I wanted so badly to add those to this account and felt blessed to do so. I haven't seen my articles anywhere else, but I'm glad that it touched so many so far.
I took the boys for a nice walk today. Grace was with my grandparents so I didn't have a chat partner. I did the entire neighborhood at a 3mph pace. I left around 1pm and got home within 30 - 45 mins. My FitBit shows a cal loss of 263 so I did ok. My feet are a little sore but I still have about 2,500 steps left today. I may walk on the treadmill with a book for a while.
Katie Foster, the blogger who inspired me to blog here, recently did the Ragnar Socal. The Ragnar Socal Relay is " a 200-mile relay race from Huntington Beach to San Diego in which teams of 12 test their athletic stamina and rely one another for support over the course of 2 days. Team members each run 3 legs of the race. Legs vary in difficulty level and range from 3-8 miles. All types of runners participate each year, from the novice to the world-class athlete". Katie was also recently featured in the fitness magazine "Runner's World". I have a cousin who knows the photographer who did the shots. If Katie reads this, Katie I would love for you to sign my copy!!!!
Today I updated all my posts from my sister blog, Thinbythirtythejourney.blogspot.com. I had 10 posts on there, but most of them had to do with my MEN articles etc. I wanted so badly to add those to this account and felt blessed to do so. I haven't seen my articles anywhere else, but I'm glad that it touched so many so far.
I took the boys for a nice walk today. Grace was with my grandparents so I didn't have a chat partner. I did the entire neighborhood at a 3mph pace. I left around 1pm and got home within 30 - 45 mins. My FitBit shows a cal loss of 263 so I did ok. My feet are a little sore but I still have about 2,500 steps left today. I may walk on the treadmill with a book for a while.
Katie Foster, the blogger who inspired me to blog here, recently did the Ragnar Socal. The Ragnar Socal Relay is " a 200-mile relay race from Huntington Beach to San Diego in which teams of 12 test their athletic stamina and rely one another for support over the course of 2 days. Team members each run 3 legs of the race. Legs vary in difficulty level and range from 3-8 miles. All types of runners participate each year, from the novice to the world-class athlete". Katie was also recently featured in the fitness magazine "Runner's World". I have a cousin who knows the photographer who did the shots. If Katie reads this, Katie I would love for you to sign my copy!!!!
Current weight: 154.4
Goal weight: 145-150 (maintenance weight)
Current BMI: 5'6 - 24.9 (normal) 5'6 1/2 - 24.5 (normal) 5'7 - 24.2 (normal)
Goal BMI: 24.1
Total weight lost: 105 lbs
Percentage of body weight lost: 40.54%
Currently reading:
The Confession by Beverly Lewis
Saturday Challenge No.1 : March 29th, 2014
Today I'm challenging myself to 1hr on the treadmill. The pace doesn't matter. Will I meet my goal?
Well....
I made my goal! I did 1 hour of treadmill time and I made my first 20,000 step badge! Took me until almost 11pm but I finally made my goal.
News: I got my navy blue FitBit Flex band!
Current weight: 155.8
Goal weight: 145-150 (maintenance weight)
Current BMI: 24.4
Goal BMI: 24.1
Total weight lost: 103.2lbs
Percentage of body weight lost: 39.85%
Currently reading:
The Guardian by Beverly Lewis
Well....
I made my goal! I did 1 hour of treadmill time and I made my first 20,000 step badge! Took me until almost 11pm but I finally made my goal.
News: I got my navy blue FitBit Flex band!
Current weight: 155.8
Goal weight: 145-150 (maintenance weight)
Current BMI: 24.4
Goal BMI: 24.1
Total weight lost: 103.2lbs
Percentage of body weight lost: 39.85%
Currently reading:
The Guardian by Beverly Lewis
Finally Friday: March 28th, 2014
This week has been a long one. From awaiting the determination at work as to whether my training has been successful or not, to home repairs, disappointment and frustration with large corporate decisions, and my speech at TOPS (that was nerve wrecking), I'm just glad it's Friday and the week is finally over.
Monday had me all nerves because it was the day my coworker returned and decided whether I'd been a success or not in her department. Thankfully she was please and so was her boss. I probably saved my job for a few years there. But ya just never know in the auto game.
Tuesday and Wednesday I waited on my new eyeglasses. Unfortunately, I had to return them. They came a day late and the right lens had a flaw. There was a finger print between the layers, although the Dr said it was a pressure fracture from the machinery. Looked like a smudge to me, I'm not an idiot.
Thursday my husband repaired the kids bathroom fixtures. The toilet had a small leak inside due the flapper failing and he got that done quickly, but I had to have a new sink. Our faucet was the twist knob style and it was hard on little hands so he replaced it with a simple handle style. So far the kids are thrilled with it. My hubs had a few problems installing it, but at least the job is done and he did a good job of cleaning up.
Thursday night I gave my speech for TOPS. It was a nice gathering and the people were lovely. I hope that in some way I've helped someone. I was glad that there was a setting where people were actually willing to hear that I really leaned on God to get me through. Somehow that message got lost in the news articles.
I completed 10 straight days of walking my 10,000 steps. I'm very happy with that. I'd like to achieve 30 days of doing 10,000 steps and then 30 days of doing 5 miles a day. My new wristband comes today or Saturday. I'm pretty excited about it. It's the new-er navy blue band.
This pic just shows what I can expect the color to look like
Current weight: 155.8
Goal weight: 145-150 (maintenance weight)
Current BMI: 24.4
Goal BMI: 24.1
Total weight lost: 103.2lbs
Percentage of body weight lost: 39.85%
Currently reading:
The Bridesmaid by Beverly Lewis
Monday had me all nerves because it was the day my coworker returned and decided whether I'd been a success or not in her department. Thankfully she was please and so was her boss. I probably saved my job for a few years there. But ya just never know in the auto game.
Tuesday and Wednesday I waited on my new eyeglasses. Unfortunately, I had to return them. They came a day late and the right lens had a flaw. There was a finger print between the layers, although the Dr said it was a pressure fracture from the machinery. Looked like a smudge to me, I'm not an idiot.
Thursday my husband repaired the kids bathroom fixtures. The toilet had a small leak inside due the flapper failing and he got that done quickly, but I had to have a new sink. Our faucet was the twist knob style and it was hard on little hands so he replaced it with a simple handle style. So far the kids are thrilled with it. My hubs had a few problems installing it, but at least the job is done and he did a good job of cleaning up.
Thursday night I gave my speech for TOPS. It was a nice gathering and the people were lovely. I hope that in some way I've helped someone. I was glad that there was a setting where people were actually willing to hear that I really leaned on God to get me through. Somehow that message got lost in the news articles.
I completed 10 straight days of walking my 10,000 steps. I'm very happy with that. I'd like to achieve 30 days of doing 10,000 steps and then 30 days of doing 5 miles a day. My new wristband comes today or Saturday. I'm pretty excited about it. It's the new-er navy blue band.
This pic just shows what I can expect the color to look like
Current weight: 155.8
Goal weight: 145-150 (maintenance weight)
Current BMI: 24.4
Goal BMI: 24.1
Total weight lost: 103.2lbs
Percentage of body weight lost: 39.85%
Currently reading:
The Bridesmaid by Beverly Lewis
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